Study helps explain why some new moms post nonstop on Facebook

Several years ago, Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan noticed something curious as she scrolled through Facebook: Many of her female friends used an image of their child as a personal profile photo. Even Schoppe-Sullivan made the switch without fully realizing the implications.

"It just kind of dawned on me at one point, 'Hey that's your identity, that’s a really profound statement,'" she told Mashable. "It's saying, 'This is who I am right now.'" 

Of course, plenty of new moms see Facebook as simply a way of sharing joyous baby-related updates with family and friends. 

Schoppe-Sullivan, however, thought something more complicated might be going on, particularly as moms tried to navigate the tricky terrain of balancing their new identity with their old one. 

As a professor of human sciences and psychology at The Ohio State University, she set out to understand if and when women seek validation on Facebook for their roles as mothers, and whether they're at greater risk of depressive symptoms when they do so. She was already evaluating new parenthood in a long-term study and decided to explore those new questions in her ongoing research. 

The results, published last week in Sex Roles, may make new moms reconsider why they use Facebook to post about their children. While the social media platform can offer guidance and support from a large community, frequent posting for some users can also amplify their anxiety about motherhood.  

Schoppe-Sullivan and her co-authors analyzed data from 127 participants and found that when women felt more societal pressure to be perfect mothers and viewed motherhood as central to their identity, they were more likely to share child-related updates and photos. The majority of moms in the study did use their baby's image as a profile photo at some point. 

The mothers who strove for perfection as parents and sought external validation for their maternal role also expressed stronger emotional responses — both positive and negative — to the frequency and nature of their friends' likes and comments.. 

That relationship with Facebook may have come at a cost. Nine months after giving birth, those same mothers reported more depressive symptoms like having a poor appetite, not being able to shake off the blues and experiencing restless sleep. 

The study couldn't pinpoint a cause-and-effect dynamic between a new mom's desire for validation, her increased Facebook use and a greater risk for symptoms of depression, but Schoppe-Sullivan believes there could be a direct link. 

"A lot of moms may feel pressured to portray this very positive image of motherhood, and if on the inside you're not feeling that good, I think that could be detrimental," she said.  

The study does have some important limitations. Schoppe-Sullivan surveyed well-educated, employed women who were mostly white, which means the results aren't nationally representative. The participants also self-reported their social media use, which can be a reliable way to account for their habits but isn't necessarily the most accurate method. 

Schoppe-Sullivan and her co-authors did control for several factors, including maternal age, education and personality traits that might make participants more prone to experiencing depression. Only one of five key traits — neuroticism — was associated with a mother's more intense emotional reaction to if and how people responded to her Facebook posts. The researchers also controlled for depressive symptoms at three months postpartum. 

While some may be quick to use the study's findings as a justification for judging new moms who constantly post photos of their newborn, that's not the point Schoppe-Sullivan is trying to make. 

Like with any personal social media post, users are trying to carefully craft their identity. New mothers, in particular, encounter unyielding expectations about how they should behave, which can feel magnified on a platform like Facebook. 

They may feel pressure to adhere to impossibly high parenting standards, said Schoppe-Sullivan, and turn to Facebook for both support in meeting those expectations and validation that they're fulfilling a stereotypical maternal role. 

"This is an evolving way of representing your identity and your family and what’s important to you," she said.

The working women in the study, she added, may have wanted to defy stereotypes about mothers who have careers and prove to friends and family that devotion to their child came first. 

Some moms who post frequent updates and photos of their child may feel none of these pressures and care little about validation. But for those who notice that frequent Facebook posts involve stress and angst, Schoppe-Sullivan had some simple advice: take a break. 

That can mean turning off notifications, posting less frequently and finding other ways to distribute photos to family members and friends eager to see them. 

"There are ways to manage this," said Schoppe-Sullivan, "so you’re not necessarily getting sucked into it." 

This baby Harry Potter fan grew up to be like Hermione Granger

Taken in 2003, this adorable photograph of a six-month-old baby girl with her mum is a perfect example of early Harry Potter fandom. 

The baby, Rhiannon Braeger, is now a 13-year-old girl in 8th grade. Thirteen years after being dressed as a baby Harry — complete with lightning bolt scar — Rhiannon has grown into a Harry Potter fan. 

This photo was snapped at Barnes and Noble in 2003 at the release of the fifth book in the series, Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. The store threw Harry Potter parties for the release of each book throughout the '00s, so Jackie Braeger bundled up her four children and took them to the midnight event. "It was a big family thing," she said.

Jackie told Mashable she had been a fan when the first books were released in the late '90s, but her children — Rhiannon and her three brothers who are now 17, 20 and 21 — were too young to appreciate them. As they grew she hoped to instill in them a love of reading and introduced them to the J.K. Rowling series. 

"The Harry Potter books were coming out when my kids were little and I used to hope to get them into reading by reading out loud to them at night. We had a lot of time, so we would read the books together and we would all sit around and listen. 

"We would even go on camping trips. When one of the new books came out, we were on a camping trip and reading in the tents. It was just a really nice family time. So because we would do that, they would get really excited when a new book would come out."

Jacquie and Rhiannon recently.

IMAGE: JACQUIE BRAEGER.

At six months old, Rhiannon had no choice but to be a Potter fan since she was born into a family obsessed with the series. 

"She grew up with it," Jackie said. "She was number four, and by the time she came along, everybody in our family was hooked. So she grew up hearing her brothers talk about it, hearing the stories read, when she got old enough to read herself she read the stories. She was just really fascinated by it."

The character of Hermione Granger became someone Rhiannon could look up to as she got older. She is now the age that Hermione was when she entered Hogwarts. Jackie explained that Rhiannon, like Hermione, excelled academically. It was important she had a strong female role model to idolize. 

"I think she really relates to the character of Hermione," Jackie said. "She is really a smart girl too; she is very intelligent," Jackie said. "I just love the way that there were strong central female characters in that series that weren't just silly or background stuff. It was something for young girls to aspire toward as well, to think it is cool to be smart."

As Rhiannon grew up, so did Hermione Granger.

IMAGE: GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES

It's been a long wait for new Potter material since the last book came out in 2007. At midnight on July 30, the script of the play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, written by Jack Thorne, will be released. Jackie and her grown-up children won't be at the midnight release, but there is no doubt her family will once again sit and enjoy the newest addition together. 

"It was something that pulled the family together in their childhood, they all have lots of memories of the Harry Potter books," Jackie said. "It has been part of the family for so long."

Perhaps, this time, Rhiannon will dress up as Hermione.

How to help someone who shares suicidal feelings online

Facebook recently updated an important tool designed to help users support friends expressing suicidal thoughts and behavior. 

The product, now available to every Facebook user, dispels the pervasive and dangerous myth that people who experience suicidal feelings are beyond help while also showing bystanders exactly how they can make a difference.

Though Facebook is the first social media platform to provide users a set of comprehensive tools, including the ability to report concerning posts, there are simple strategies anyone can use when they see someone share suicidal feelings online. 

Jennifer Stuber, founder of the suicide-prevention organization Forefront, believes people can powerfully come to each other's aid online by listening, showing empathy, offering support and providing resources  

Stuber, who worked with Facebook on designing content for its tool, says that bystanders don't have to be intimidated by the thought of reaching out to someone who is openly sharing their suffering. 

"The fact that they’re putting it on social media is an opportunity and that’s why it’s important to respond, and respond in a compassionate manner that validates they’re going through that pain," says Stuber. 

1. Respect their feelings. 
When someone expresses suicidal thoughts or feelings, the most compassionate response you can have is to validate their feelings, says Stuber. That can be as simple as saying "I care about you" or "I'm sorry you're in so much pain." 

Don't, however, try to talk them out of their feelings or insist you understand their suffering. Their emotions may not seem logical or reflect how you think they should experience pain, but that doesn't matter to a suicidal person.

An example of how Facebook would contact a user whose post has been flagged for suicidal content.

IMAGE: FACEBOOK 

Phrases or responses to avoid, says Stuber, include the following: 

You have so much to live for. 

Things could be worse.

How could you think of suicide? Your life is not that bad.

I don’t know why you would feel this way.

It’ll get better soon.

2. Contact the authorities if necessary.

If someone appears to be in immediate danger, contact local law enforcement for assistance or call 911. If you're worried about personally involving law enforcement, you can also report the concerning post to Facebook, which reviews such content and contacts users with prevention tools when appropriate. 

3. Reach out and ask direct questions. 

Direct messaging, says Stuber, is an essential tool for offering a suicidal person support if you're not able to talk to them offline. This means doing more than responding to an emotional status with a crying emoji or comment, for example, and sending them a personal note. You can say, "How are you doing? Are you thinking about hurting yourself? Facebook's tool also provides users sample scripts for what to say to a friend. 

Stuber says openly talking about suicidal thoughts or behavior does not "put the idea in someone's head." While it may seem awkward to ask whether someone intends to harm themselves, it is necessary in order to learn whether they require urgent or emergency help.

Facebook provides a comprehensive list of suicide prevention resources that includes numbers for hotlines around the world.

4. Get friends involved. 

When you see an acquaintance or distant friend express suicidal feelings online, don't wait for someone who is closer to them to respond. Instead, says Stuber, "activate a network" by reaching out to another person who knows them well. You can say something like, "Hey, I'm worried about Ben's post, but I don't know him well enough to offer the support he needs. How do you think we can get him help?

5. Know your role. 

Bystanders who want to help should be clear about their role. Family members and close friends, for instance, might expect to talk frequently with the person in need in the following days, weeks and months. But if you're less connected with that person, it's reasonable to envision your role as a less involved or long-term one. 

6. Remember that treatment and recovery are possible. 

A common myth about suicide is that people who experience such feelings will ultimately act on them — even when given support — and that nothing can be done to prevent that outcome. 

Research shows, however, that few people are chronically suicidal, and that treatment for suicidal thoughts and behavior is very successful. Stuber says most people who attempted suicide report that they are happy to be alive today.

A bystander can offer meaningful support, says Stuber, by reassuring a suicidal person that they're not alone: "There is hope, there are other people who have been there, recovery is possible and they shouldn't be afraid to reach out for help."  

If you want to talk to someone or are experiencing suicidal thoughts, text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. For international resources, this list is a good place to start.

Study helps explain why some new moms post nonstop on Facebook

Several years ago, Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan noticed something curious as she scrolled through Facebook: Many of her female friends used an image of their child as a personal profile photo. Even Schoppe-Sullivan made the switch without fully realizing the implications.  

"It just kind of dawned on me at one point, 'Hey that's your identity, that’s a really profound statement,'" she told Mashable. "It's saying, 'This is who I am right now.'" 

Of course, plenty of new moms see Facebook as simply a way of sharing joyous baby-related updates with family and friends. 

Schoppe-Sullivan, however, thought something more complicated might be going on, particularly as moms tried to navigate the tricky terrain of balancing their new identity with their old one. 

As a professor of human sciences and psychology at The Ohio State University, she set out to understand if and when women seek validation on Facebook for their roles as mothers, and whether they're at greater risk of depressive symptoms when they do so. She was already evaluating new parenthood in a long-term study and decided to explore those new questions in her ongoing research. 

The results, published last week in Sex Roles, may make new moms reconsider why they use Facebook to post about their children. While the social media platform can offer guidance and support from a large community, frequent posting for some users can also amplify their anxiety about motherhood.  

Schoppe-Sullivan and her co-authors analyzed data from 127 participants and found that when women felt more societal pressure to be perfect mothers and viewed motherhood as central to their identity, they were more likely to share child-related updates and photos. The majority of moms in the study did use their baby's image as a profile photo at some point. 

The mothers who strove for perfection as parents and sought external validation for their maternal role also expressed stronger emotional responses — both positive and negative — to the frequency and nature of their friends' likes and comments.. 

That relationship with Facebook may have come at a cost. Nine months after giving birth, those same mothers reported more depressive symptoms like having a poor appetite, not being able to shake off the blues and experiencing restless sleep. 

The study couldn't pinpoint a cause-and-effect dynamic between a new mom's desire for validation, her increased Facebook use and a greater risk for symptoms of depression, but Schoppe-Sullivan believes there could be a direct link. 

"A lot of moms may feel pressured to portray this very positive image of motherhood, and if on the inside you're not feeling that good, I think that could be detrimental," she said.  

The study does have some important limitations. Schoppe-Sullivan surveyed well-educated, employed women who were mostly white, which means the results aren't nationally representative. The participants also self-reported their social media use, which can be a reliable way to account for their habits but isn't necessarily the most accurate method.

Schoppe-Sullivan and her co-authors did control for several factors, including maternal age, education and personality traits that might make participants more prone to experiencing depression. Only one of five key traits — neuroticism — was associated with a mother's more intense emotional reaction to if and how people responded to her Facebook posts. The researchers also controlled for depressive symptoms at three months postpartum. 

While some may be quick to use the study's findings as a justification for judging new moms who constantly post photos of their newborn, that's not the point Schoppe-Sullivan is trying to make. 

Like with any personal social media post, users are trying to carefully craft their identity. New mothers, in particular, encounter unyielding expectations about how they should behave, which can feel magnified on a platform like Facebook. 

They may feel pressure to adhere to impossibly high parenting standards, said Schoppe-Sullivan, and turn to Facebook for both support in meeting those expectations and validation that they're fulfilling a stereotypical maternal role. 

"This is an evolving way of representing your identity and your family and what’s important to you," she said.

The working women in the study, she added, may have wanted to defy stereotypes about mothers who have careers and prove to friends and family that devotion to their child came first. 

Some moms who post frequent updates and photos of their child may feel none of these pressures and care little about validation. But for those who notice that frequent Facebook posts involve stress and angst, Schoppe-Sullivan had some simple advice: take a break. 

That can mean turning off notifications, posting less frequently and finding other ways to distribute photos to family members and friends eager to see them. 

"There are ways to manage this," said Schoppe-Sullivan, "so you’re not necessarily getting sucked into it."

Chrissy Teigen is still defending her decision eat dinner at a restaurant as a mom

It has been nearly a month since Chrissy Teigen defiantly went out to dinner with her husband, John Legend, one time even though they are parents now. Clearly that is not enough time for the nation to heal from the image of a mother enjoying her time, so people are still talking about it. 

Teigen discussed what it's like to have strangers on the Internet critiquing her parenting style onGood Morning America with Michael Strahan. "I knew mommy-shaming was a thing, but I didn't know it would come from going to dinner," she said.

She knows that taking time for herself is probably good for baby Luna in the long run, "Happy mommy, happy daddy, happy baby."

After Teigen was shamed for going on a date after giving birth, the commenting mob promptly moved on to taking digs at her fashion choices. A crop top on Mother's Day? The nerve!

John Legend would like the trolls to save some of the parenting criticism for him, too. 

 Follow

John Legend 

✔‎@johnlegend

Funny there's no dad-shaming. When both of us go out to dinner, shame both of us so Chrissy doesn't have to take it all. We'll split it.

8:26 AM - 11 May 2016

 
•  10,35910,359 Retweets
 
•  31,59531,595 likes

"I don't even want to say, because everyone already thinks John's so perfect," Teigen said when asked about Legend's parenting. "So I love to kind of twist it and make sure people know that nobody's perfect, but he's been really great."

He somehow hasn't quite mastered lullabies yet, though. Get it together, Legend. 

Still, the whole co-parenting thing seems to suit them.

Suicides spike for 10 to 14-year-olds

Dr. Petra Steinbuchel understands what it's like to be a 12-year-old grappling with suicidal feelings.

As medical director of mental health and child development at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland, Steinbuchel counsels such patients as they experience sadness, anxiety and depression. Sometimes they talk about the hopelessness of poverty; others feel the crushing pressure of high expectations. 

They watch as images of wealth and perfection float by on social media, wondering if they'll ever achieve greatness and feel less lonely. Their phone may become an unpredictable enemy, delivering surprise cyber-bullying attacks.  

These experiences alone don't lead to suicide, says Steinbuchel, but they might have a tragic impact when combined with proven risks like social isolation and mental illness. 

Researchers may now start playing closer attention to that dynamic. On Friday, the National Center for Health Statistics released data showing an increase in the suicide rate amongst females and males in every age group under 75. 

While researchers expected to see an increase in suicides among middle-aged Americans, they did not anticipate such a sharp rise amongst 10- to 14-year-old children, says statistician and study author Sally C. Curtin. 

From 1999 to 2014, the number of suicides among girls in that demographic tripled to 150. 

The number of suicides increased for young boys as well, though less significantly. In total, 425 children between the ages of 10 and 14 died by suicide in 2014 compared to 242 in 1999. Most of the deaths involved 13- and 14-year-olds.

Curtin says it's important to note that the absolute suicide rate for each group barely increased to 1.5 per 100,000 for girls and 2.6 per 100,000 for boys, aged 10 to 14. In contrast, the national rate over all age groups is now 13 per 100,000. 

Yet, because the data is drawn from a massive national sample it can reveal trends that may be imperceptible at the local or state level. The NCHS research also doesn't account for suicide attempts that resulted in emergency room visits and hospitalization. 

"We know that completed suicides are but the tip of the iceberg," Curtin says. "Hopefully it does raises awareness that [suicidal ideation] happens at these ages. The general public might just say, 'This is too young.'" 

It's unclear why the number of suicides spiked for young girls. 

Rachel Simmons, author of three books on girlhood and cofounder of Girls Leadership, a national nonprofit organization, says the early onset of puberty may be exposing girls to emotional and physical changes before they're prepared to handle them. Studies have shown girls are experiencing breast growth, for example, at younger ages. 

"It’s a lot for a very young person to deal with," says Simmons. "Middle school is already a challenging time...It might be harder to get help if you’re trying so hard to fit in." 

Simmons also says that girls may turn to visual platforms like Facebook and Instagram to seek validation of their appearance, but develop worse self-esteem as a result. She doesn't see a direct link between social media use and suicidal feelings, but believes using such platforms can "exacerbate the vulnerabilities girls already bring to the table."